break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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