Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
