(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
