i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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