This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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