She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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