She's JV to your varsity
its not stalking. its research.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
