Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
