I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
