I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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