today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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