So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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