her vagine was all disorganized.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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