Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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