You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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