Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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