I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
