ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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