I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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