grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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