My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
