Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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