I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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