Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
