There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm at about main and main street
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize