i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
