3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
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