ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
