my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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