When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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