Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
