I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
