just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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