8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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