I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
