just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I would fuck him just for his dog
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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