I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
