the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
