we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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