I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
