so let's talk penis.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
