he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
