New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
