Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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