Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
