so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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