she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
