i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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