You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
