didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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