using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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