So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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