escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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