Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
