some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
