i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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