do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
