i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
