Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
