belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
