I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
