I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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