Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
