ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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