My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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